Letting go.

So I've been going through a lot of stuff these days, mostly just learning to lean on the Lord. If I'm being really honest, I've failed miserably. So many times I doubt that the Lord has my life and all the things I'm dealing with in His hands. Why? Why do we doubt? The Lord has proven Himself faithful to me so many times...so why can't I just step out of the boat and trust Him? Well, I've given this a lot of thought...and honestly I think it's because (at least in my case) when I sit down and ask myself the question "Is Jesus worth this to me?" (from the book Radical by David Platt) I tell myself that I would rather have this thing than God's best plan for my life. I would rather take this under my own control and know what's going to happen rather than trust that God will reveal His perfect will to me in His perfect timing even if that means laying in bed at night confused, or walking blindly because all I can do is live one day at a time. How ridiculous does that sound?! If you seriously sit down and think about it......I am choosing to take control of something when all I can see is today. All I see are my feelings. All I see is the discomfort. All I see is laying down something that I so desperately want. I'm deciding today that I'm giving it to the one who sees all. The one who places desires in my heart. The one who is always faithful. The one who is love (not the one who loves...he IS love!!). The one who is perfect in all He does. Doesn't it make so much more sense to give every piece of our lives to Him? We sing songs and tell the Lord all the time, "God you have my heart, you have every piece of my life" but is it true? Does He really have every part of your heart. Have you given Him the things you hold most dear to your heart? Have you given Him the things you want to control? If we looked deeply into our hearts and truly examined our lives, I think we would see so many things that we say He is in control of, but honestly...we still hold on.

My challenge for you: Let go.

Just a little something that has been a blessing to me in this place in my life...

"Waiting: Steadfastness, that is holding on; Patience, that is holding back; Expectancy, that is holding the face up; Obedience, that is holding one's self in readiness to go or do; Listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear. How long Lord must I wait? Never mind, child. Trust Me."

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Faithful Father.

So this post is related to my newest post on my other blog, but I want to go in to the spiritual side of my new job. So I've been talking to my mom a lot about trusting the Lord with His plan for my life (as a recent college graduate, this is a lesson I'm just going to have to learn). I've been pretty actively job hunting since I've been home from school which has been almost a month and I started to get really doubtful. Whenever my mom and I would talk about it, she would always say, "Lauren, God sees the big picture, from beginning to end. You'll find the job He wants for you when He wants you to find it. We're just a small thread woven into the big fabric of time to eventually create this beautiful picture." Wow. How true is that?

²⁸And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, ²⁹yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.³⁰But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' Matthew 6:28-31

²⁵And they went and woke him, saying, "Save us, Lord; we are perishing." ²⁶And he said to them, "Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?" Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. Matthew 8: 25-26

³⁰But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." ³¹Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" Matthew 14:30-31

⁷And they began discussing it among themselves, saying, "We brought no bread." ⁸But Jesus, aware of this, said, "O you of little faith, why are you discussing among yourselves the fact that you have no bread? ⁹ Do you not yet perceive? Do you not remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many baskets you gathered? Matthew 16:7-9

These are 4 instances where Jesus said to his disciples, "O you of little faith". How many times has the Lord had to say to you, "O you of little faith"? I know He's said it to me many times. I think sometimes we think we're the star of the show that this world revolves around us. Could we be any further from the truth? My life, your life, everyday, everything in existence is all for the glory of God! I'm here to bring God glory in all that I do. So, yes it may have taken me a month to find a job but I know that God has put me with this family for a reason. Maybe they need to see the love of the Lord, or maybe they'll impact me in a way that only they could. I don't know, but this is where God wants me in the big picture. I'm so thankful that my God isn't about the temporary. He's always about the eternal! Praise the Lord that I don't understand His ways or His timing, because then, I would be God and He would receive no glory. Anyways, I don't know if this made sense or not, but I just love that I get to see God's hand move in my life everyday. Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness to your children.

lauren.

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